It’s hard for me to write this post because it involves the personal life of someone whose privacy I want to protect. I’ve been trying to write around the details for the last half-hour. Rather than attempt a detailed account, I will just say this:
In the interest of helping a loved one who has been strong and in control since birth, but recently hobbled by a painful loss, I ventured into nearly unknown territory where I wasn’t really welcome. Talking about the pain, acknowledging the effect it is having, is taboo. But I did it anyway. I said, this is very hard and maybe always will be, but there are ways to make it at least somewhat bearable. There are doctors and medicine. There are others in similar situations whose support can help. You could try to let go of the idea that this is a
prison sentence without parole. You could allow yourself to be helped.
I was told that there may be a doctor’s visit in the near future. It was only a maybe, but still, that’s something.
If I Were Brave 
that WAS brave of you!
It shouldn’t be difficult to approach someone we love on a difficult topic, but it is, isn’t it?
I am a Hospice volunteer. Trust me – most times, people miss the opportunity to speak and regret it later
Thanks, Leslie. That makes me feel good.
You are amazing. That is the bravest of all of your adventures, in my opinion. Sometimes that “maybe” makes all the difference.
I hope it will, my dear.
It’s great that you were brave enough to take the chance, and that this person was able to hear you. What happens next is out of your hands. I hope they can take a brave chance, too.
Me too. Thanks, Re.
Sometimes acknowledging someone’s pain, instead of ignoring it, can really help and sometimes that’s all you can do.
I hope it does. Thanks, Lisa!
That’s the most important kind of bravery — bravery for the sake of a loved one.
Well done. It wasn’t easy, but what you did was extremely valuable, both to you and the other person.
I sure hope so! Thanks!
This is the hardest for me. I never know how to navigate between respecting someone’s desire for space and offering support/assistance. It know it is usually best to reach out, but it is so scary.
Yes. I didn’t want to make it worse. But hanging back and letting grief take its course seemed not to be working.
Good job – definitely a bravery medal for this one. Whatever happens I’m sure the person will appreciate that you cared enough to reach out and try to help…..
Thanks, Jacqui.
We have to be brave for our loved ones and it is important to advocate for their health. I bet they truly appreciate your support and understanding.
I hope so. At least I can say I tried my best.
Brave, compassinate and productive. A good trifecta!
Well done, you.
Thank you. And bonus points for the word “trifecta.”
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You showed the most love for whoever that loved one is that you can – love is a verb not a noun. It was very courageous of you to broach the topic.
Thanks, Nancy. These are hard conversations. At least for me.
As a life coach and a survivor of a painful loss, I encourage people to tread with care around a person who has lost somebody close. The person left needs time to come to terms with the loss; we all take our time over this and cannot/should not be hurried.
I commend you for taking the time to offer help to your friend. Her response that there may be a doctor’s visit in the near future is a positive sign.
But for now, just please let your friend know you are there. Ready to help or just to listen when she wants to talk. When my husband died very suddenly 13 years ago it was those friends who just sat with me, listened when I wanted to talk or else were quiet who helped me most.
On reading this response it could be taken as a criticism of your action. Please believe me it is not meant as such. Thank you for sharing this post with us. Your love for your friend shines through. 🙂
Thanks, Judith. I know what you mean. For the last 16 months, I haven’t wanted to push, but I think the time has come to try a new approach to healing. Thanks for stopping by.