Ain’t no sunshine where we live; everything has been grey and wet and buggy for days. Although I hate cold weather, we REALLY need some to kill the mosquitoes, who seem intent on moving up the food chain before winter.
So I went with a lighter topic for today’s post. For your entertainment, I offer you some crazy mom confessions that put the whole supermom image to rest for good.
One day Sarah left the house wearing a shirt and tights but no skirt. We went to two stores before I noticed. This wasn’t during the sleep-deprived time of her infancy. This was a couple of weeks ago.
I recently told my nine-year-old she could read a book I thought might be a little old for her. Nothing serious, I thought – maybe some talk about crushes on boys. After
we got it home, I found out it explains erections. Once my hysterics subsided, I calmly told her we’d have to put that one away for a while.
A six-year-old once told me she was going to have to separate me and her mother at soccer games because we talk too much and don’t watch. She’s not wrong. I never know who’s winning.
I have told my children that stores are closed, roads are closed, and many other fabrications to avoid doing something they don’t really need and I don’t really want. For you virtuous parents who are judging me for lying to my kids, I have two words: Tooth Fairy.
When Grace was just four and Sarah was not yet two, we went from a birthday party straight to a Halloween party. I had diapers, snacks, blankies, all the requisite kid paraphernalia…except Halloween costumes. *sigh*
When Grace was about 18 months old, she started sobbing and I couldn’t figure out why. I had been straightening up her room while she played and munched some Cheerios. When she slowed down enough to speak:
Grace: Cheerio! Cheerio!!
Me: Here, honey, here are the Cheerios!
Grace [pushing them away]: Cheerio! Cheerio!!!
We continued in this vein for a few minutes, at which point I gave up. She wasn’t hurt, and I had no idea what she wanted.
Eventually, she quieted down and went back to playing. A few minutes later, I heard a gigantic sneeze and turned to wipe her nose. She shot me the best I-told-you-so look I have ever seen, pointed to the snot-covered Cheerio on the floor and said, “Cheerio.”