As brave as I can be without leaving my desk

Today’s workload did not allow much time for trying something new, looking foolish or even interacting with people. So I think it’s time for another embarrassing admission. They don’t require leaving my office, and I have a handy supply of embarrassing anecdotes from a long and clumsy past.

My initial choice was a first date story, in which I crossed an entire restaurant with toilet paper trailing from my shoe (yes, I did, and yes, there was a second date), but really, that doesn’t sting much and there isn’t much to say beyond giving you the visual.

Instead, I will admit to something that makes me feel as exposed as would a YouTube video of my ample rear end, swathed only in a bathing suit, running down a beach. Here goes: within seven weeks, I have gone from being reluctant to tell people about this blog to REALLY wanting them to read it. I check the site’s traffic stats often, sometimes several times a day. See, embarrassing!

I blame the few people who are reading it and encouraging me to continue. Receiving compliments for something you care about is a bit like a heroin hit (I imagine): euphoric and addictive. (By the way, thank you, kind friends.)

Copping to any ambition for this blog feels ridiculous. Who do I think I am, anyway? But I want people to read it. More than that, I want them to like it.

Could I be any more needy?

I suppose the real question is: should I try for a larger audience, or just concentrate on my daily challenges for the sake of my own personal growth? I know what the healthy answer is.

I’m just not sure what mine is.

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This entry was posted in Looking foolish, No more hiding, Telling the truth, Why am I doing this again? and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

15 Responses to As brave as I can be without leaving my desk

  1. notquiteold says:

    I like your blog… and “site stats” are more addictive than porn!

  2. Jen says:

    Hi Dory –
    I absolutely LOVE your blog and am sorry I haven’t told you that sooner. In fact, earlier today (pre-daily blog read) I was telling my good friend about it, as she was telling me I should take up the guitar. (Incidentally, I’ve never shown ANY interest in or inclination toward a guitar, but you have to love friends like that!) Anyway, I really look forward to your posts. Your writing is fresh and funny and inviting. I think you’d have a real audience in the forty somethings out there who are, as they say, finally ready to wear more purple! I think a lot of people would relate. Count my vote in the bunch that say carry on!!
    xoxo
    Jen

  3. Go for the larger audience. You’re good at what you do – why not share it? Also, working on your own personal growth in a public forum really does motivate and inspire other people to do the same (though, maybe a little less publicly). Write ON!

    And, really, who doesn’t obsessively check their stats? (ha ha ha)

  4. lexidelphia says:

    Yes! When you’ve written about something you care about, you just want everyone you know to read it.

  5. bigsheepcommunications says:

    I believe the stat checking compulsion is the dirty little secret of bloggers everywhere. If you think it’s bad now, just wait until you’re Freshly Pressed (and someday, when you least expect it, you will be). BTW, it’s more than okay to feel good about what you do!

  6. Muff says:

    I read only two blogs. I have encountered many.

    Yours is one of the two.

    The blog for me is no longer about you. Keep writing. Now you are obligated. Feel better?

    The other blog I read by the way is The Blog that Ate Manhattan. http://www.tbtam.com Very interesting medical/foodie blog that is done by the sister of a good friend of mine. Go there, see what she is doing, and see if some things work for you. She has expanded her audience to include being cited by Chicago and NY Times…

    And if you need more embarrassing stories, we can get the college era stories flowing…you know, for catharsis sake!

  7. Thanks, Muff. That does make me feel better. I will check out The Blog that Ate Manhattan. By the way, I don’t know what stories you are referring to and will delete any fallacious comments showing me in an unflattering light. 😉

  8. Susan Child says:

    I’ve been lurking for awhile. I fine your blog funny and true. I don’t know if I would have jumped of a cliff unless my 10 year old niece was with me leading the way.
    I have linked you to my ( little ) blog. Probably not much help for your stats, (they are addicting to watch) but I like to share. *:)
    http://susanchild.wordpress.com/

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