They always come back!

It’s amazing how much shame is wrapped up in two numbers – my weight and my clothing size.

At 43, my metabolism has seen better, faster days. I have dieted, exercised and lost as much as 35 pounds at a stretch, but like brain-eating zombies, the pounds always come back.

I am not stupid. I know that losing weight is a numbers game – burn off more than you take in. Yet I haven’t been able to manage this simple equation to my advantage.

So I am going to try something new in the hope that trotting my shame out into the light of day might cause it to shrivel like a little raisin. I am going to admit to my actual weight and size right here in this blog (skip to the bottom if you just can’t wait!).

My whole body cringes when I think about people (certain skinny people in particular) knowing these numbers. This is showing-up-naked-to-school-in-the-middle-of-the-final-exam-you-didn’t-know-you-had horror. Sweaty palms, rapid pulse, the works.

Yes, I know that anyone with eyes can see how overweight I am without these numbers. Yes, I know the numbers don’t change anything about who I really am. Still.

Here goes. I am nearly 5’ 11”, and my medically recommended weight range is 134 – 177. As of this morning, I weighed 193 pounds. And while I have an array of sizes in my closet, the size that feels most comfortable is a 14. Let the shriveling begin. Hoo boy.

This entry was posted in No more hiding and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

3 Responses to They always come back!

  1. You are not alone in the numbers game for sure! Good luck with the shriveling lol 🙂

  2. Pingback: Horizontally striped glory | If I Were Brave

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s